Ivy Beleaguered

Does anyone read this anymore?

2006-05-11T14:26:00.000-05:00

Now this is a long time between posts. Maybe such a layoff has caused anyone who's previously read this to lose interest. In that case, I'd be writing this for myself, which probably isn't the worst thing that could happen.

It's been hard to post this semester, just because it's been a very frustrating semester. I thought I'd be able to manage my time and mental health a little better. But I quickly found out that I am not good at juggling things. Between teaching, research and coursework I constantly found myself agonizing and falling behind on something. I was just very stressed and wasn't very happy. And I couldn't get motivated with the thought of so much to do piling up on top of me. So yes, things suffered. I'm not doing very well in the class I'm taking. I'm not putting out amazing research. And I don't think I did as well in my teaching fellowship as the other graduate fellows. In fact, this entire year has been frustrating and has left me bitter about my time at Cornell and has really made me worry about whether I'm doing the right thing with my life.

That being said, the corner is turning. I've finished up my teaching commitment and this week I'll wrap up my coursework. Meaning I'll be able to focus on my research and my thesis, which has seen some progress of late as well.

Considering how rough this year was for me and the fact that funding is in short supply for academic work, I've decided to leave school for a while. I plan on finishing up my masters at the end of the summer and moving on. I actually just accepted a full time position with an engineering firm based in the D.C. region that focuses on wetland and stream restoration.

It's strange, for as fast as I want to get away from Ithaca at times, there's an equally strong desire to stay. It's weird to have this persistent thought running through my head that the harder I work, the sooner I can get done while at the same time I'm thinking that I truly dread leaving. I came to Ithaca three years ago and didn't know anyone here. That was a really tough thing for me to do. I did meet some really great people while I was here: Chad, Brendan and Christine. I'm glad I came here and I'm really glad I got to meet these people. I guess that I'll meet some great people in D.C. as well. But the thought of going to a place where I don't know anyone again is a little hard to swallow. I feel like it's starting over again.

But a change is needed. I'm struggling here to keep motivated and this just isn't what I want to do. I don't know what I want to do but I think this new job will help me explore that a little bit more. It's not a life contract, I can leave. But it is a big change and it seems like my life is thrust into all these big changes and big challenges and daunting tasks. And writing about it just makes it that much more real. So I've been avoiding posting because I've been avoiding thinking about it as much as possible.

"Graduation" is in two weeks. I'm going to get to spend time with my family and I can't wait.

Taking a break

2006-01-16T06:01:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a break from writing to do some...writing. I just finished putting together a draft proposal for a curriculum project I want to do at Rochester East High. I'm trying to pool together the other grad students in the program as well as some classes up at Rochester to look at an environmentally degraded site owned by the city. The idea is to develop curriculum that addresses the water flow, the contaminant testing, the methods for clean-up and finally the future usage of the site. It could be a really cool project if all works well. I'm working on putting together a written plan that everyone can work off, at least initially.

If you caught the time of this post, you'll notice that I'm writing this at 6 in the morning. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a morning person. In fact, in college there's really only one way I manage to see 6 am. Here's the deal: the internet is an evil, evil thing. I think if you are a focused individual you can use the web very effectively. I'm a little scatterbrained, especially lately. I spent pretty much all of Sunday in the office. Honestly, I was working on research and this curriculum. But much of my time in the last few days I've spent looking for jobs. I've been putting together my resume, writing cover letters, and doing a lot of online searching. A lot of online searching. I've looked at a ton of companies. And if the company looks interesting, I'll read about services they provide. And if they do things that I would like (read: environmental fluid mechanics) I check out their projects. And if they do some interesting projects, I check to see if they have any job openings. Actually, I pretty much look at the projects and job openings of almost every company. Why? Because I'm not efficient. And I don't exactly know what I want to do. What if what I want to do isn't out there? Or worse, what if it's out there and I just can't find it? Can you see now how I could spend hours online searching and searching and searching?

I remember when I was younger and I went up to Canada with my dad on a fishing trip. I remember driving along the highway and seeing miles and miles of the same absolutely identical pine trees. It's like those Scooby-Doo cartoons where the background just continues to scroll on a continuous loop. It just didn't end. I remember Dad saying how you people sometimes get lost for days in those woods because you could go around and around in circles and not even know it. I kind of feel like that right now. I feel like I've looked at the same sites over and over. Hell, I'm pretty sure I HAVE looked at the same sites a half dozen times. Everytime I come back to the same site I'm hoping something is new there, like a gnarl or a burn scar that I haven't noticed before (I apologize if I'm mixing metaphors).

Actually, you know what I'd love to see tacked up on one of those trees? A map. And a compass.

There's a team-building activity that I've done before where you have to choose the 5 things you would most want with you if you were stranded somewhere, like a deserted island or the middle of the Canadian wilderness. Sure, a knife is good. And a blanket is a good idea, I suppose. Me? I'd like to know where I was, and where I was going. I think if you knew that you could just figure the rest out along the way.

Ha! One post every other month and it doesn't even make sense!

Ok, I'm feeling generous...

Life is pretty good. Haven't been sleeping that much (no comments, please) but am moving forward on both research and teaching. Classes start on Monday and I'll be taking 1 course and 2 seminars. Friday was mid-60's in New York. Saturday was 13 degrees and snow.

Man, I could use some breakfast.

Christine got into vet school!

2006-01-03T15:56:00.000-05:00

Christine just got accepted to Cornell vet school next year (the top vet school in the country!). Congratulations Christine, I knew you would do it!

Been a while

2005-11-07T22:55:00.000-05:00

What have I been doing the last month? Good question. I'm not really sure.

I've been working on my teaching fellowship. I've been busy developing curriculum and I'm finally getting into classrooms with it. I'm working with 3 schools right now and I have 3 more that I might be working with by next week. I'm trying to compile the hours there. Teaching in secondary schools is challenging. Every week our fellowship program has a seminar with all of the fellows. We spend every week in an hour and a half of discussion on the challenges we face in the classroom. I admit it's difficult being a secondary education teacher and I have developed a finer sense of respect But the teaching is not always the most difficult aspect of this fellowship. Developing projects that are inquiry-based, that fit in with the curriculum of the class and that appeals to the philosophy of the teacher is not easy. And to do that with 6 different teachers, with students that range from 7th grade to seniors, and in classes as different as physics and environmental science. Well, that takes some serious thought sometimes. But I enjoy the challenge most of the time. I've been able to take a variety of lessons into class, including work on lake dynamics, hurricane physics, flow of water through plants and this week a debate about the whether New Orleans should be rebuilt. So things are going well there.

But more important than what I'm doing is that I just found out I will be an uncle! My brother and his wife just found out that they will be expecting their first child in June-ish. I'm really excited about it and can't wait to see them over Christmas to see how they are doing.

The fall here in New York has turned out to be really nice. There was a 2 week stretch that was pretty much solid rain. But we've made it past that and it has actually been warm and sunny. So Christine and I have taken Shadow (her dog) out to the parks as much as possible. And it's been great. The fall is just so beautiful here. I had a great birthday last week, too. I was able to go to both hockey games last weekend (Cornell has a great team this year) and Christine fixed me a great birthday dinner last Monday. And I won tickets to a concert in the State Theatre tomorrow night, which should be a lot of fun.

So life is good in Central New York. I hope life is good wherever you might be, too.

What I've been doing

2005-10-23T21:48:00.000-05:00

Not much. Kind of in a rut around here. This teaching fellowship is proving to be more difficult than I've expected. I've got all kinds of good ideas, and I'll work on them, but unless a teacher is interested and it fits into their curriculum, I don't really have much that I can do. I can try to shop ideas around a little bit more and I can try to work them into compact lessons, which I'm going to have to start doing, but it's definitely frustrating. It's great that I can just take an idea that I have and run with it but sometimes it's really hard to just think of stuff and do it without any direction. I have some neat things on the docket, though. I am putting the finishing touches on my portable sediment flume. It's like the flume that work on in the lab, except that I can fold it up and slide it into my truck. How cool is that?!? I'll have to think of some crazy stuff to use it for, which shouldn't be too difficult.

Research has been nonexistent lately but I just had a meeting with my advisor last week, so I'll be getting back into that very soon. I definitely need to get a move on things.

So what HAVE I been doing? Spending a lot of time with Christine, that's for sure. We cook dinners together, we take her dog Shadow on walks and to the parks and we hang out a lot on the weekends. It's great not to be so busy that I can't do these things. We work together a lot, too. It's nice that I have a job that I can take with me a lot of time. So it's nice to spend a lot of time with her. And she is one hell of a crossword-er.

The weather in Ithaca has turned sour. Unless you like 40's and rain. Which I don't. I've had good weather for Halloween weekend every year here, so I hope that trend continues. It has one week to shape up.

Back from Oregon

2005-09-21T23:31:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd try to post twice in one month. Not bad considering this summer, not good for anyone trying to keep up with what's going on.

Thankfully, I'm back in Ithaca after my trip to Oregon. I've thought about my trip a little more. Initially, as I was waiting for my plane in Portland, I considered this the worst research experience I've ever had. And in some ways it definitely was. But with some distance I realize that it was also the best research experience I've had as well. I've returned a little angry and strung but I've also returned with a little more focus, a better understanding of our group and what it means to be a graduate student here. The frustration and little bit of anger will subside but I hope that my focus will continue to take shape. It's one thing that has been really lacking this last year in my life.

So I was able to return to Ithaca and better yet, leave others back in Oregon to work on this project. I am not washing my hands of it but I definitely want to separate myself from this for a little bit. Luckily I have my teaching fellowship that requires quite a bit of time to catch up on. I'm really going to like this teaching gig, I think. I spent today at two different schools meeting with teachers and observing classrooms. I'm starting to think about projects and how to work with such broad age and ability levels. I'm looking forward to this opportunity. The thing I have to be careful of is getting to far into this project and neglect my own research. I really need to start writing up my thesis, completing more background research and determine any more experiments that I will need to run.

I've spent the last three days really catching up on a lot of things here in Ithaca. I finally unpacked some of my things in my apartment. I have been returning e-mails. And I have been monopolizing Christine's free time. Hey, she should've packed her classes in while I was gone :) .

Oh, other good news. Iowa State is off to a 2-0 start. One of those wins is over Iowa. I was able to see my good friend Joe get married last weekend. I was able to see all of my other good friends from Iowa State the same day. AND I was able to see my best friend Jon on his birthday. I still can't believe I was able to do all of that last weekend.

I hope everyone is doing well. I'll try to update if I have any more epiphanies.

Summer Vacation?

2005-09-08T16:50:00.000-05:00

I’m writing this from the Philadelphia Airport. I probably won’t be able to post it right away but this is one of those rare times when I have a free time and am completely stuck somewhere (the terminal). I realize the amount of time in between posts is ridiculous. This summer has been incredibly hectic and my free time has not been spent updating my blog. But I feel like I should give an update, in case anyone is still reading this, since my friend in the Peace Corps is updating his blog way more regularly than I.

I am on my way to Corvallis, Oregon, home of Oregon State University. We have a project in their wave lab that utilizes their rather large wave tank. This thing is 100 meters by 5 meters by 5 meters. It’s big enough to surf in, apparently. Right now it is home to a couple of tons of sand. We have been developing equipment this summer to study sediment transport within the swash zone. The swash zone is the part of the beach that alternates between wet and dry as the waves come in. The depth of flow is very small in this region and the sediment concentration is really high. This makes it very difficult to measure, since nearly all fluid measurement techniques either depend on significant flow depth or low sediment density. Yet this section of the beach profile is one of the most important in terms of beach erosion, so studying this experimentally is highly coveted in the field of fluid mechanics. Hopefully our equipment will be able to measure at least the sediment velocity via thin fiberoptic scopes connected to high speed cameras that we will bury in the beach. Our research group is very good at using imaging techniques to evaluate fluid flow, so the concept of this is not new to us. The complicated part will initially be trying to use the same techniques to evaluate sediment-laden flow (which does not follow the fluid flow exactly). And then, later on down the road, to massage fluid velocity and sediment concentration out of the data. This will give us sediment fluxes and fluid velocities in the swash zone which has never been done before.

So this summer has been completely different from last summer. It’s been stressful and seemingly unending. My spare time has been cherished this summer (especially with how sunny and warm it was in Ithaca!). So that is the reason for the lack of update.

In other news, I have moved to a 2-bedroom apartment on the lake. It is about as close to Ithaca as you can get and still be on the lake, we have our own dock and gorgeous views out of the bedroom windows. Last Friday was the first time I was able to go swimming and unfortunately it probably won’t be very warm when I get back.

I did take one long weekend when Christine got back to go to Boston. It was a hectic trip (probably tried to do too much) but it was great. We went to Cape Cod and saw Coldplay in concert and checked out Harvard and downtown Boston and received a behind the scenes tour of the Franklin Park Zoo. It was awesome. I’d love to take another weekend trip somewhere this semester but it looks to be pretty busy even after I get back. I have a teaching fellowship that requires a pretty big commitment and I’m hoping to write up my thesis and defend this semester.

I’ll try to keep this updated a little more often. Although for the next week and a half I’ll be in Oregon and will be pretty busy. I hope everyone is doing well.

The last week

2005-05-22T11:30:00.000-05:00

Cornell semester #4 is in the books. College semester #14 (wow) is in the books. The last week consisted of three big things. The first was that I finished my take home exam for my class in numerical methods. I do not like numerical methods and, although this class was taught by my advisor, I did not like this class. I'm a hands on guy. It's neat and all to develop models to handle flow problems and I definitely learned a lot about the intricacies of several different numerical methods but, well, it doesn't exactly blow my skirt up. I don't know how I did but I'm sure I did fine. I'm just really glad that one is over.

Secondly, I ended a defining aspect of my Cornell experience. I finished TA responsibilities for my last class. I have TA'd for two years and have fulfilled my tour of duty. I don't think I'll TA again (unless funding becomes a major issue). So my TA career is officially behind me. Another big relief.

The third, and most important, was my girlfriend Christine's 21st birthday, which was last Wednesday. Luckily she was done with finals by Monday and was able to enjoy it. I did my best to extend her birthday as much as possible. It started Tuesday night and got pushed through Thursday night (a surprise birthday barbecue!). I even baked a cake! I know you read this blog, Christine, so I hope you had a great birthday and I was ecstatic to be a part of it. I'm already thinking about what to do for the next one. You have to plan ahead on these things, you know. I'm thinking something involving elephants, monster trucks, and/or sky-writing...

So my semester is over and the summer has started. I've been in the lab this weekend helping out Evan on his project. I am not ready to run more experiments on my project so I'm planning on taking these next few days to re-evaluate my research plan and determine what data I need to get and how I'm going to get it. I'll be focused on research full-time this summer and hopefully will be able to accomplish a lot. We have a big project at the end of the summer in Oregon which will utilize much of my research, so it will be somewhat of a time crunch to get everything ready.

I hope everyone is doing well!

I'm sorry...

2005-05-08T21:59:00.000-05:00

...but my mother is just the absolute best. There can only be one, and she is it. I apologize to all of the other mothers who tried but you are simply outmatched in this competition. I miss her very much and hope she had a great Mother's Day. I really wish I could've been there with her today. She means the world to me.

Happy Mother's Day to the best Mom I could ever ask for!

Posting

2005-04-29T22:42:00.000-05:00

I feel like I haven't posted anything in a really long time. To be honest I don't know what to post exactly. I feel like things are moving and I'm just watching them. The semester finishes up next week and I've got plenty of work to do. I feel like every time I write in this blog it includes the words "plenty of work to do". I'm just not very good at finishing anything.

This year my first real group of students are graduating. I've had about 100 civil engineering undergraduates as students, some more than once. So if you come across some and think, "Man, that Cornell education is really over-rated," well then it's entirely my fault. Unless it has nothing to do with fluids, then I guess you could blame someone else. But I really doubt you'll ever come across that.

I'm going to go to graduation. And I already got invited to go to a graduation party! I feel so included. I'm going to miss a lot of these students next year. And next year I'll go through the same thing all over again.

I'm going to miss TA'ing next year. The students are my favorite part about my job here.

Spring Break Pics

2005-04-12T22:51:00.000-05:00

After a long delay, I am posting some pics of my spring break. Seems like a decade ago, not less than a month. You can see that Joe has less hair than I do, which means that CalTech IS a stressful place.

To my friends that let me crash at their place for a few days, many thanks. I had a great trip.

San Diego with Joe

2005-04-12T22:50:00.001-05:00

The Helmle's

2005-04-12T22:50:00.000-05:00

Santa Barbara Sunset

Fellowship

2005-04-06T23:28:00.000-05:00

For those of you who haven't visited me in Ithaca yet, your grace period has been extended another year. I recently received a Cornell Science Inquiry Partnership (CSIP) fellowship for next year. This covers my tuition, insurance and a nice little stipend. It's a competitive scholarship, one that I probably received solely on my extensive TA and outreach experience. The fellowship requires 17 hours a week of preparing lesson plans and teaching in a middle school or high school environment. Yep, I'm taking this fluid mechanics show on the road.

This is a great opportunity for me. For one, it secures funding externally, which is good news for my advisors. Two, it is a competitive NSF fellowship, one of only 150 nationwide, so it looks great on the resume. Why would I need a teaching fellowship on the resume? Well, I got the ball rolling on the PhD. I told Todd I'd like to stay, with the ultimate goal of teaching. We're going to see how the MS goes and go from there. The goal is to finish the MS by the end of the fall semester. This pace is kind of tough to keep up but it's becoming more interesting the more I get into it. Although this fellowship will be great experience, I'm looking forward to focusing on my research primarily.

So I am not necessarily the typical graduate student. And I am not really taking the typical graduate student route. But I am still a graduate student. And will be next year at least.

I have displeased the lab gods

2005-04-03T21:51:00.000-05:00

It is Sunday night, 11 pm Eastern, and I am officially out of the lab. I am banning myself from the lab until tomorrow, since I have destroyed enough equipment for one weekend.

My advisor in Spain, Todd, is back for a few days in Ithaca to interview new faculty candidates and to sit in on defenses. He has also been helping in the lab significantly, which means I have spent much of my time the last few days in the lab working on things.

I spent much of Friday night in the lab getting everything set up so we could look at things quickly on Sunday. I was really getting through a lot of work until about 11 pm. My friend Evan and I went to plug in some equipment into our data acquisition system (which is powered) and all of the sudden the computer pops and dies. Not good. We quickly pull the computer apart and try replacing the power supply. We get the computer up and running and notice that there appears to be a little hole burning through our data acquisition board. I am not exactly computer savvy but I know that computers do not rely on internal combustion, so we quickly pulled the power on the computer. The board is most likely shot and will cost a few hundred dollars to replace. I was originally expecting a few thousand, so this is good to hear. Beyond the cost, the most important aspect is being able to run experiments while Todd is back. Not being able to run while Todd is back would be disastrous. Luckily, we had a separate board that we could make work.

So after a little configuring, we were able to run experiments tonight. And we got some good data and it looks promising. But since I'm in the lab, something must go wrong. And it did. Right after I took my last data set and as I was sitting at the computer with the pump and flume running at full speed, the flexible coupler that connects the pump to the piping decided that it was tired of holding on and suddenly let go. Along with a gigantic boom and about 1000 gallons of water rushing into the lab. I yelled. Loud. Luckily, all electrical equipment and cords were up off the floor and our lab is full of drains anyway, so the water just kind of went all over the place and didn't do much damage. Below is a picture of the trouble spot.

Really, nothing broke on the flume. The coupler can be easily reattached (with a bit more precaution). As I was squigee-ing the floor I couldn't help but laugh about the entire situation. When the thing blew, the pump was running at full speed, so water shot out about 30'. I remember looking at it and not having any idea of what to do. It had crossed my mind to grab the pipe and try to put it back together. That would've been impossible!

So, for everyone's benefit, I left the lab. I will return tomorrow and continue my path of destruction and mayhem.

And I will include pictures of my California trip sometime!

Bad Flume!

I'm back from Cali

2005-03-26T14:11:00.000-05:00

Have been since Wednesday but still recovering. As it turns out, the sun shines more in Ithaca than in California. But I'm sure that will change in, oh, about 5 minutes. Did I make any life-changing decisions on my soul-searching voyage? Probably not. Was it nice to get away from Ithaca for a few days? Definitely. Did I gain a better perspective of my life? Sure. Did I enjoy seeing Chad, Jill, Beck and Joe? Absolutely.

I hope everyone has a great Easter. I'm back in the thick of things in Ithaca. And glad to be here. Thanks for all the input on the last posting. I'll be sure to keep you all updated.

Should I stay or should I go?

2005-03-10T18:00:00.000-05:00

Today I had to present on my research. I didn't think I had much to talk about but it turns out I had a full presentation. I think it went pretty well, except I think it sounded a little too "doom and gloom". Right now, at this stage, it just seems that the project is nearly impossible. It is difficult but I think we'll be able to get something to work. The other grad students in the group agreed that it's a very solid PhD project. Which raises the question...

My advisor asked me that question a few weeks ago. He'd like to know what my plans are. As research ramps up, I definitely think it's possible to be here for a while. I have been pushing the question off until a) I find out about a fellowship I applied for (April) and b) I go to California and get out of Ithaca for a while (next week).

So I'm thinking about it. What do you think I should do? Let me know. You don't need any qualifications to have an opinion.

It's officially 6 pm. Can I go to bed now?

Research, who knew?

2005-02-19T22:54:00.000-05:00

This problem is tricky. I've spent a good part of my time in the last few days out of the lab, just trying to get my head around everything. See, here's what we want to do. In sediment-laden flows (water with sand in it) you have a fluid velocity and a separate sediment velocity. The reason for this is that sediment particles are so much more heavier than fluid particles and will continually have vertical velocity component caused by gravity. What we want to do is determine three things: the velocity of the fluid, the velocity of the sediment and the sediment concentration within the fluid. It doesn't sound that complicated. The complication arises when you start thinking about the distribution of sediment within the water column (i.e. from the river bed to the river surface). There is a suspended load within the upper portion of the column. Generally there is less sediment at the surface and the concentration increases until you reach the bed. Along the bed you have what is called a sheet region. This region contains a high concentration of sediment. As I said before, sediment particles are heavy. They will tend to stay on the ground unless something comes along and lifts them up. Turbulence can do this, as well as interaction with other particles. These sediement particles will be lifted into the fluid flow and get carried downstream a short ways until they finally settle back down on the bed. This could kick up other sediment particles. So what you get is basically a false bed, a sheet of sediment particles that basically just roll along the bottom of the river or coastline. This accounts for the majority of the sediment load.

Our lab has several methods for measuring fluid velocity. We primarily use acoustic methods or visual methods. Both methods rely on tiny particles in the flow to simulate actual fluid particles. These are designed to be neutrally bouyant. This works great in a clean, sediment-free flows. The problem with these techniques is that they can't distinguish between these neutrally bouyant particles and the sediment particles very well. So we can't differentiate between sediment and fluid velocities. This problem is exacerbated when we try to look into the sheet layer, where the sediment density is significantly higher than the suspended column.

We are trying to modify our techniques so that we can indeed distinguish between the fluid and sediment velocity. This is proving difficult to everyone. That's what I'm stuck on right now.

If I can answer that question, I have a Masters thesis and a Ph.D. dissertation all in one. As of yet, no one has developed any piece of equipment that can handle this effectively. To be the first one ever to help develop something that could potentially change the field of sediment transport research, well, that is both exciting and daunting at the same time. Most days it just makes my head hurt.

There's your update. Not so envious of me anymore are you? I'm not a total slacker out here in Cornell. I present on my research in three weeks. Research? What research? I'm in trouble.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2005-02-14T23:39:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day. Mine was absolutely fabulous, a great day all around. Sorry I've been so negligent on postings as of late. I will try to fill you in on school and research in the very near future. But tonight I am tired!

Tsunami, Research info

2005-01-30T22:14:00.000-05:00

In case you are still looking for more tsunami information, I'm adding a link to a Nature article on my website: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/rdd9/tsunami.pdf I'm adding this because, for one, it's a well written article that covers more of the "technical" aspects of the most recent tsunami. For two, this reporter tagged along with the group of scientists led by my advisor, Professor Phil Liu. So feel free to check it out.

Last week my flume was taken apart to fix some major leaks. That flume seems like an extension of my body at times, so to see the inlet tank completely taken off and dragged into the shop was like looking in a mirror and seeing an amputee. Having experience in how long these projects usually take, it nearly sickened me to see everything in pieces. To my surprise the shop guys welded it back together with spiffy new reinforcement and I spent the better part of Friday hooking it back up. Now it looks just like it always has, with the (hopefully) added benefit of not having to plug leaks with my fingers anymore. I had to re-seal the joints with a curing compound which can't be submerged for a week, so I won't know for a few more days whether this method worked.

Which is ok because I have some data to play with right now. Which I actually have to compile into a sensible report by Tuesday. And I have to present on my research in March. But I'm optimistic about everything right now. January is almost over, the days have been sunny and growing longer, I got a run in outside today, I got some work done this weekend. Yep, absolutely no complaints out here in Ithaca.

To teach

2005-01-25T22:01:00.000-05:00

I can't bring myself to tackle Matlab right now so I thought I'd write another post tonight. This is one I've been meaning to write for a while so I think I should finally get it down.

This is the fourth semester I've been a teaching assistant at Cornell University. This will be my fourth unique course at Cornell that I have TA'd. I've TA'd one class twice. Most likely, I have more TA'ing experience than any other graduate student in our department. I have often complained about this but I shouldn't. Teaching at Cornell is an amazing opportunity.

I often call myself a "blue collar grad student" because with TA funding I feel I really have to work for my stipend. And it's true, I get no credit for TA'ing, I don't get an easier class load and my research isn't less strenuous. I have the exact same responsibilities as all other graduate students except I have one more on top. And often it's been a big responsibility. I really used to resent the fact that I had so much more work than other graduate students. But I've recently realized how much I've gained through my teaching experience.

I didn't learn fluid mechanics until I taught it. For the second time. Only now am I beginning to understand basic fundamentals of fluid mechanics. Teaching has forced me to continually think about the material and new ways to present it. That has been invaluable. Effective teaching is a subject in itself. As a TA, I was 100 percent better this year than last year. I have had students tell me I was a great TA and invaluable to their success in the course. Yet sitting through a day and a half seminar on college teaching opened my eyes to how much more effective I could have been. It made me want to teach again next year (scary) and even think about becoming a professor (scarier). The teachers out there will vouch for me when I say that you continually learn how to be a more effective educator.

Three semesters down at Cornell and I can easily say that I wouldn't trade my TA experience for anything. Over the past year and a half I have had over 200 students. Many of those I still see on a daily or weekly basis. Many of those I will miss when they graduate and move on this May. Cornell often lives up to it's Ivy League reputation. The students here are amazing. These students do great things here in Ithaca and they go on to do great things all over the world. To have an influence in the lives of such dynamic people is phenomenal. The opportunity to inspire, to educate, even just to be associated with these future world leaders is not one that I take lightly. It inspires me, definitely.

I have put a lot of time and effort into being a great TA. It has definitely pulled time away from my research. I don't regret this at all. I will still do my research and I will still graduate. It will happen, eventually. But I'm just one average person. Even if I put out a great thesis and a few papers, it pales in comparison to what 200+ Cornell students are capable of. And if my time and effort somehow influences those students, well the potential for greatness is huge.

Some have said that I have spent too much time and energy as a TA. I agree that a balance must be struck and that balance is difficult for TA's. Yet I believe my TA duties are more important than my coursework and my research. I hold firm to that and I don't regret it.

I'm looking forward to TA'ing again this semester. I hope that I will get the opportunity to teach again sometime in the future. And those of you who are presented with the opportunity to teach, I hope you take it.

I'm heading down the hill

2005-01-25T19:40:00.000-05:00

I spent a full day in the office and the lab and I am ready to get out of here. I am covered in polyethelene dust, I'm filthy dirty and I probably don't smell that great either. It was a busy day of deconstruction in the lab. My flume, which I've nicknamed "The Sieve" is temporarily down for major repairs. We pulled the entire inlet section off (I should post a picture) and will be re-welding it and adding extra support. The entire bottom section nearly blew out under the high water pressure. So I've been pulling, pushing, grinding and sanding most of the day.

The semester started here at Cornell. Students are back, things are crowded and there's already lots of work on the table. I attended a teaching seminar last week on how to effectively teach engineering students. It was a great workshop. I also trained incoming engineering TA's these last couple of days. I have developed several thoughts on my own teaching experiences through all of this and if I have time I'm going to try to post on that tonight.

I also had a research meeting today with my advisor. In the last few days I have gotten a better sense for the scope of my master's work and I've determined that it is pretty extensive. There are a lot of question marks to answer. This semester will be a big push to get everything to work, since we have a joint project with Oregon State University that is hoping to utilize this newly developing equipment this summer. I hope we can get everything to work in the next couple of months. I might even get a trip to Oregon State out of the deal. At least now I have a better understanding of my research and what I'll need to get it done.

We were hit with about a foot and a half of snow last weekend. Big fluffy snow. It's great. I'm hoping to get out in it this weekend.

I spoke too soon

2005-01-18T11:38:00.000-05:00

Last night it snowed a good six inches. Today it is hovering right around zero degrees. Goodbye warmth and rain, hello sledding and skiing!

Rain in January

2005-01-16T22:41:00.000-05:00

Proof that Ithaca is strange, last week it rained. A lot. And it was almost 60 degrees last Thursday. It seems that even the weather can get confused in Ithaca. It's an out-of-sorts kind of place.

One week before classes start. It's going to be another busy semester. I've been busy in the lab in January. I've spent a fair amount of time on my research, with mixed results. Initially I thought my project was doomed until my professor in Spain informed me that I wasn't even thinking about the right project. Well that was a relief. It's still going to be a tricky little business. We are trying to image sediment particles as they rush by the camera. We can control the camera at speeds up to 200 frames per second, which is fast. Yet our imaging window is about 3 millimeters wide. So at higher speeds, we are having problems capturing sediment particles within our imaging window. They are extremely blurry, meaning we are also having a light issue as well. I came to Cornell to study engineering, now I seem to be studying photography.

This week I will also be training new engineering TA's on how to be an effective college-age teacher. I also did this in the fall. Brendan, my roommate, and I join together and lead a workshop on classroom diversity. Also, because I'm involved with the LIFE program on campus (Learning Intiatives to Further Education) I get to attend a special 2-day workshop with Dr. Richard Felder, who is a renowned educator on education, especially in engineering curriculum. The conference is primarily open to professors but we get access because we are trainers. Even though I don't have to formally teach this semester (I still have to TA), I think this will be a great experience to learn more about education. This semester I will TA my fifth class in four semesters, so I have put a lot of time in teaching. Although I might not formally get a chance to teach again, I think teaching is a valuable life skill. I've learned how to communicate more effectively, I've learned how to say "I don't know" and I've learned a lot of technical information about my field. If nothing else, this teaching experience should help someday when I become a father. And that definitely makes all of this worthwhile.

I'll try to post more often. It should be an exciting semester!

Back to work

2005-01-07T09:12:00.000-05:00

After a 30 hour traveling ordeal, I finally returned to Ithaca on Tuesday night. I returned to the lab on Wednesday to a host of camera crews and reporters. My advisor is one of the top tsunami experts in the country and we study waves comprehensively in a long wave tank in the lab. So crews from Cornell University, local television stations and I heard even the Discovery Channel have been interviewing my advisor and taking footage of our wave tank. It's been a media circus around the lab in the last couple of days (which I never thought would happen in our dank, dark, underground lab). My advisor actually just left yesterday to travel to Sri Lanka to investigate the magnitude of the tsunami, which will help us refine our numerical models and improve our tsunami simulation abilities.

While exciting, this doesn't involve me very directly. I'm back to my own research and double-time at that. My professor in Spain is wondering on the progress with the scope and I really don't have anything to report. I've been fixing the flume the last couple of days. Hopefully I have it to the point where I can take data this weekend and get some info to my professor by early next week. I wish I could just go down and crank out this data but there always seems to be something preventing it. So I'll be putting in a lot of time on research in these two weeks before school starts again.

Merry Christmas!

2004-12-25T11:40:00.000-05:00

Home

2004-12-19T18:43:00.000-05:00

is where I'm heading. Tomorrow my flight leaves at 4:20. I looked at my itenerary tonight and realized that I have to fly to NYC first before Chicago, before Cedar Rapids. Everyone must cross their fingers tomorrow. I think I have the last flight into CR and my layover in Chicago is not exactly extensive. But regardless of what happens, I will make it eventually. I'll get to spend time with my family and friends in my own house with lots of food and books and movies. It will be fabulous. And I'll get some time to think about how my semester ended, where I'm going and where I should be going, so that when I return to Ithaca I can be productive and efficient. And that would be awesome.

Walking around Ithaca the last couple of days has made me realize that this town doesn't really decorate for Christmas. There are hardly any Christmas lights up and it actually surprised me to think, "Christmas is less than a week away!" I'm kind of bummed that the Christmas season has completely passed me by so far. I really love this time of year and I haven't even noticed it this year. But today was the first big snowfall in Ithaca. We went sledding at the Cornell Plantations. It was Thomas Kinkade-ish, with the snow swirling around the trees. It brought Christmas upon me and it was such a peaceful afternoon.

So I am ready. I am ready to go home, to be near all the people I love and miss, to eat and eat and eat, to forget about Cornell for a while. I am ready for Christmas. I'll see you all soon!

Writing as therapy

2004-12-16T16:59:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all of you who have been sending thoughts. Rest assured that I have not completely lost it and that I won't. Everyone has to vent somewhere. I vent to cyberspace (and my roommate Brendan). You get to read about it, get worried about me, check to make sure I'm ok, put everything in perspective and pull me back up. It's awesome to be pulled back up (but still not a good enough excuse to fall down). And I have some really great pullers out there. I appreciate it, always.

I proctored and graded the exam for my TA class. Tomorrow we are determining the final grades and then we will be done, done and done. I'll be in the lab quite a bit in the next couple of days, trying to get some work done before I leave. And that's my week!

Back on Earth

2004-12-14T20:30:00.000-05:00

Ok, I've slept. It makes a big difference.

Yesterday was the culmination of frustration. I really don't know what will happen with that class. But that is another bridge for another day, I suppose. Today was better. Less stress. More perspective.

Tomorrow is the final for the class that I TA. So if I can get the labs graded tonight and the exams graded tomorrow, my TA duties will be pretty much over for the semester. And that is a big relief. And then I'll finally be able to focus on research. And Christmas. And coming home. And those things are way more important than how I do in my turbulence course. At least to me, anyway.

I remember a similar semester at Iowa State (I was there for five years, I can refer just about everything back to Iowa State). It was my first semester of my junior year. I was completely frustrated with classes, I had no career direction and no life direction. I did poorly in all my classes. I thought that I didn't belong there and that I didn't want to be an engineer. But the semester ended, I took a great trip to Arizona with friends, I met someone who was awesome and I got a completely new semester with new classes to redeem myself all over again. For as low as things had gotten, they went up just as fast.

I can look at that experience and compare it to my current experience. I can realize that this is a low point right now and that the law of averages will kick in and next semester will be a new lease, a clean canvas. But things are not the same. This is my job, and some things carry over from semester to semester. It's ok to write off an entire semester when you're 21. But I'm 25. My direction should be more defined. At least my decisions should be a little more meticulous. I shouldn't be able to compare this semester to that semester at Iowa State, because I should be a different person now, four years later. And I am a different person now and I think differently. And while these experiences might be similar, how they affect me has changed. I can't go to Arizona. I can't chalk up the semester. I can't start over completely fresh next semester. I have to deal with the decisions I made. I have to build.

I really don't belong here. But I'm here.

At least until the 20th.

What was I thinking?

2004-12-13T17:50:00.000-05:00

I completely botched my final exam. It was a take home exam and I didn't start on it soon enough. I didn't know how to do two of the problems. I didn't think about it enough. I'm going to bomb the class, and I have no idea what that means. This is no good. I really shouldn't be here. Why didn't I work harder in the class? Why didn't I ask more questions? Why did I waste so much time? It's almost as if I'm sabotaging myself. I feel 12 years old right now and it's absolutely ridiculous. This semester is quickly turning for the worse. I have accomplished nothing over the past half a year. Half of an entire year! I am an ivy league poser and have officially dug myself the biggest hole ever. I am completely embarrassed to even be here.

On a lighter note...no, no lighter notes right now. No advice. No sympathy. No nothing! I've got a lot of my own thinking to do.

For everyone who reads this to find out what grad school is like, this is what it's like.

Corner turns

2004-12-07T11:02:00.000-05:00

I remember when I first got into civil engineering. My inexperience was unbounded yet I tried to the best of my ability to hide that fact. I remember my first summer and helping Randy work on superelevations for a street project. I had no idea what superelevation was. It's not really one of those words that you can piece together from the two separate words. I thought it meant this street had huge freakin' elevations. Well, it didn't take me long to figure out that superelevation basically meant banking a curve to prevent cars from flying off the road. (In my current line of work, that's probably as technical as I'll need to get with the definition.)

The great thing about studying physics is that you can actually feel how it works. Driving through a banked curve is more interesting when you understand why the curve is banked, how it works and that you have, in fact, helped "bank a curve" before. It's comforting knowing that, as you hurtle around a corner at 60 mph, you will actually stay on the road.

Right now I feel like I'm in the middle of a big sweeping curve. There's always that initial stage when you think you might be going too fast, you don't know how big the curve is or what is after it. But when you reach the middle of the curve you realize the ways of the world are taking over. You aren't accelerating yet but you aren't braking anymore. You can't really see very far ahead of you but you can no longer see very far behind, either. You are just in this constant turn. Everything around you is changing but you really aren't doing anything different, just keeping the same speed and the same angle of the wheel.

Things here are changing around me. The semester is ending, my class is over, my TA duties are waning. They are starting to fall back in the rear view. My research is taking a forefront, I can see it coming into view. It's not at the straight-away yet but I can tell it's coming. I'm in the middle of the turn but I'm not doing anything. I'm just kind of here, the momentum and the road doing all the work. It's surprisingly a comfortable place to be. I'll come out of the turn soon. I'll have to accelerate again. I'm not there yet but I'm definitely turning the corner.

What I'm thankful for

2004-11-26T01:45:00.000-05:00

1. My family, all of whom I miss very much every day. It seems very strange to me but I often wish I was back in Iowa to be near my family, yet my family is really what keeps me out here in New York. If it wasn't for their support and motivation, I might've given up hundreds of times before. They seem to be under the impression that I belong out here and will actually make something of myself. I have had my doubts many times but they haven't (at least not openly).

2. My friends, which I've obtained through all stages of my life. It's an unbelievable feeling of security to me knowing that I have friends in all walks of life in all areas of the country that I can call or visit anytime. And the number of friends I have gained while in Ithaca has shocked me. I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by five different friends, who were inviting me to join their own friends and family. That was amazing to me. I sometimes feel like I am walking a tightrope here at Cornell. My friends are the biggest, softest, most comforting safety net possible. I couldn't fathom walking that rope without that net.

3. My opportunities, which are so plentiful I am practically drowning in them. I get so frustrated to be a graduate student at Cornell. But then I read that Cornell was recently ranked the 23rd best university in the world. The world! Then I am just so amazed that I am actually a graduate student at Cornell. I have worked for many of my opportunities but I have also been handed many without any of my own doing. And those are truly gifts, which I must constantly remind myself to be thankful for.

4. My health, and more importantly, the health of those who are close to me. I know plenty of people who are struggling to cope with personal afflictions or illness in their family. I can't imagine going through life that way. I couldn't cope with my family or friends suffering. I pray every day that my friends and family remain healthy.

5. So many more things. That my best friend has been my best friend for my entire life. That for two summers I got professional experience, good money and a second family all at the same time. That I meet new, interesting people every week. That I interact with some of the smartest people in my field on a daily basis. That I get paid to go to school (and get health insurance). That I've had really bad relationships, and have learned from them. That I've had really good relationships, and can still remember them. That, although I've never had much money, I've never had to worry about food. Not once. And that I never will. That I have more hobbies than I can shake a stick at. That I can make time in my life for these hobbies. That stick shaking is one of my hobbies. That some people actually think I'm going to save the world. That, some days, I actually think I am saving the world. That, no matter what, my brother will always be bigger, stronger and smarter than me. That my little sister will always be my little sister. That my mom is so passionate about everything and that a little of that was passed to me. That my dad continues to be such an amazing role model.

This being Thanksgiving (or, technically, shortly after Thanksgiving), it's easy to talk about the many things in my life for which I am thankful. But this semester has been so transitional in many ways. It's important to give thanks not only on Thanksgiving. I've only listed a few but by listing them, I can both see how blessed I am and return back to this list often. Now I seem to be writing just for myself, which might be a function of the time of day (I will also blame the grammar on this). I hope you had a great Thanksgiving Day yesterday. More importantly, I hope you have a great thanks giving day today, too. And tomorrow.

Weddings and such

2004-11-15T23:31:00.000-05:00

I am fresh off a weekend in Illinois for my cousin Jim's wedding. It was kind of a whirlwind of a weekend. My initial flight got cancelled Friday afternoon, so I got rescheduled through NYC. I arrived in Chicago around 9:30, got my rental car fairly smoothly (tip: don't get the insurance) and got to my aunt and uncle's house before 11, so all in all not too late. But I was pretty exhausted and we got up fairly early to meet the rest of my family in Crystal Lake, about an hour away. A full morning with the family, the wedding in the afternoon, a little bit of rest before the reception, then an elaborate dinner and dancing reception with an open bar. I could barely make it through the day, I was really dragging. I had spent the week before just utterly stressed and sleep-deprived, due to my prelim exam in my Turbulence class. Sunday I got up at 9 am but could've slept for another 7 hours, had breakfast with the family and then had some time to kill before my flight back. I decided to get in the rental car and head downtown. I wanted to see Millenium Park and it was just a beautiful day. So I drove along the lake, up and down Michigan Avenue and then stopped to check out Millenium Park for about an hour. It's very interesting and I'd love to hang out there in the summer. The Big Bean was my favorite. I posted it below.

The Big Bean

I flew out of Chicago at 6 pm and got back to Ithaca at midnight. So it was a pretty full weekend. I didn't catch up on my sleep but I caught up on my loved ones. And I really needed that. Ithaca is ok but I miss everyone so much. It was good to be with the family again. I did have more thoughts on everything, I swear. But this is all your going to get tonight.

School

2004-11-06T21:37:00.000-05:00

sucks.

Today

2004-10-31T22:29:00.000-05:00

is my birthday.

Friday again?

2004-10-22T22:38:00.000-05:00

Hey, it's Friday yet again. My days always seem to end with, "I really need to get that one thing taken care of tomorrow." I don't feel like I'm as busy as I once was but I always seem to have at least something that I didn't accomplish that gets pushed back to the next day. Maybe there always will be something.

My weekends are turning into work weekends but that's ok. I enjoyed a great talk tonight on religion by Cornell Professor at Large John Cleese. And then partook in a tasty malty beverage afterward. And tomorrow we're getting up early to go fishing for a few hours in the morning. So working tomorrow afternoon/evening isn't nearly as bad when you can cut it with these types of things. I just realize that it's the life I'm leading right now not to have a clear beginning and ending to my work week. I think someday I would like that, though.

It was a tough week, with exam grading and returning as well as my own homework. The grading was demoralizing as a TA. People did not do well. It's frustrating for the students but equally, if not more, frustrating for me as a TA. I put a lot of effort into this course and a lot of stock in my students. I want to see them do well in this class, I want them to leave with a positive view of fluid mechanics. Some of them might be teaching my kids someday. So I take it somewhat personally when my students don't do well. Which is a bad place to direct my emotional ties. Maybe I should get a dog.

Ithaca weather has definitely turned sour. Today the sun came out. It was such a memorable event that I had to take a picture of it. I'm trying to figure out how to post to this blog. In the meantime, go here. It was the first time the sun came out since last Saturday morning. Please, no snide California comments Joe. My already paling skin could not handle such slings and arrows.

Not that the weather really matters, when this was the view from my "window" last week. Not bitter at all. But I'm definitely going fishing tomorrow.

Mr. 5000

2004-10-20T16:06:00.000-05:00

I ran in my first official 5k last Sunday. I never really considered myself a runner but I started running semi-regularly this last summer. I feel like I was pretty out of shape after being snowed in all last winter and I wanted to get in better shape, namely for my summer softball league. I started running with some of my friends and I really enjoyed building up my lung capacity and strength while continually increasing the pace and length of my run. It was the overwhelming sense of accomplishment to continually improve (which I haven't really felt at school) which has kept me at it. I feel like I had a pretty decent race on Sunday, considering how cold and windy it was here, how hilly the course was and that I was still congested from a bad cold. I was either the second or third guy across the finish line (it wasn't a very big race). I am definitely motivated to keep running this winter. My goal is to shave my time down to 20 minutes by the beginning of next summer and then down to 18 minutes by the end of the summer. I'm pretty close right now and I'm sure there are technique issues that would help immensely. Right now I'm not sure how much I can improve without drastically changing my lifestyle. And I'm not fully prepared to give up beer and/or junk food. Life is full of compromise but there are some things that just shouldn't be messed with. So if you have any tips for me, I'd love to hear them.

In other sporting news, tonight is Game 7 in the NY-Boston series. People are going nuts out here. I'm a big baseball fan but this is a little scary. Tonight's game will be so charged you could power the entire island of Manhattan. Be sure to check it out.

Friday

2004-10-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

This week was short, due to the "fall break" on Monday and Tuesday. Admittedly it was a break from my normal schedule but I still worked on Monday and Tuesday. I spent a good chunk of time this week preparing for the first prelim exam in Fluid Mechanics, the course I TA. The exam was today, in class. By my rough initial counts, 111 students took the exam, and so 111 exams I will have to grade. I'm planning on knocking a big chunk of these out this weekend. I haven't really seen the exams yet, so I'm not sure how everyone did. Personally, I thought the questions this year were much easier than last year. But they only had 50 minutes to complete the exam as opposed to 2.5 hours last year. We'll see how they did tomorrow. As always, class rolls right along and I'll have to begin preparing for next week's recitation sections again soon.

The first prelim in my Turbulence class has been pushed back until November. I will admit that I am extremely happy about this. I am definitely not prepared to take that test next week. We do have a homework set due next Friday, which always scares the bejeebees out of me.

This week we've been trying to get out to do some fishing. Since we've had to work all day, we haven't been able to get out until 5 pm. And by the time I get ready (I'm notoriously slow and meticulous with my fishing equipment, apparently) and get down to the water, we only have about 1.5 hours to fish before it becomes pitch black. We got out twice this week and the first time I hooked into some small brown trout. But it was so much fun to finally catch some trout again. I took a picture and placed it here. I took the picture with my new digital camera. I had my eye on this camera for two years and the other day I saw it in Best Buy at an incredible price. I was so excited that I couldn't resist. No more disposables for me, thank you very much.

I gotta get better at this

2004-10-11T20:59:00.000-05:00

A month between posts. To say I've been negligent in updating my Cornell experience is like calling the Atlantic Ocean a bathtub. I haven't resisted updating due to lack of excitement. The last month has been extremely busy and I've had a lot of fun. I'm on Fall Break right now (although I'm still working a bit) and spent the weekend hanging out with my good friends Jeremy and Lindsey from high school. I had such a great time seeing both of them, I really wish we could spend more time together. And Ithaca in the Fall is beautiful. I've been out hiking and fishing quite a bit, we've had barbecues and campfires, and in general I'm just enjoying the changing of the season. This semester I am also taking a course in basic equitation, meaning I'm learning how to care for and ride a horse. Once a week I get to spend two hours hanging out with great big animals and it's just great.

I've been busy but not unbelievably busy. I work most nights but not much on the weekends. I only pull a few really late nights and that's usually because I've just procrastinated too much. I work out and run a couple of times a week and I've watched all of the debates. I'm still undecided and am finding it harder and harder to believe anyone could actually be decided. But we talk about politics here, which is a great part of being on a college campus.

I am only taking one class and it hasn't required an immense amount of work (or at least I haven't put in an immense amount of time). It's interesting and, of course, extremely difficult for me but I catch on slowly. And with only one class it makes it easier to focus on one set of material.

I'm TA'ing again which has been much more challenging than last year. I feel more responsibility to the class and the students. Dave and I have taken great strides to make the labs and the recitation sections more interesting and applicable and have committed a large chunk of our own time to be available for student questions. We just finished developing the first preliminary exam (which is well beyond our job description) and will spend much of the week answering questions, proctoring the exam and then a good portion of the weekend grading it. All of this I do with a little grumbling but yet I still do it. I hardly ever refuse to help out a student or the professor. Although I might do it grudgingly. But I do think this is a very important engineering course and I want to leave a positive impact on the students (all 120 of them). So I put more emphasis on engaging the class and making sure their questions are addressed effectively. And that translates to extra stress for me but that's how I can afford to attend Cornell.

I haven't had much progress on my research, which is disappointing. The frustration ensues because I could spend more time on research and I just don't. I would estimate my TA'ing time commitment around 30-40 hours a week. I only have one class for credit (I'm sitting in on another). So I have time in my week to work on research. Yet it seems like I don't get any good quality time to work on it. My TA time commitment is choppy and I don't seem to have any solid blocks of time. It makes time management difficult. But it seems this semester that I don't have the drive to work long hours. That's what frustrates me the most. The passion needed to put in the extra time and energy is temporarily lost and I'm struggling to find it. It seems to have left me just as lost. That's been my latest challenge.

It definitely is hard to complain, though. My schedule allows me to take off nice afternoons. I set my own schedule. I work with great people and I get to lead all kinds of undergrads astray. I wonder how impressive that Cornell degree would be if future employers knew I was teaching them fluid mechanics? I spend my free time outside and with horses and my network of friends is varied and extensive. And I have friends visit from California!

So I hope all is well with you. I am intent on using this "Fall Break" to get re-energized about school and gain better insight into my research and my future. And I intend on upping the ante on school time to accomplish this. And I'll keep everyone updated more often (I could use a few more bosses).

I hope everyone this reaches is doing well. I think about you all as often as I think about myself (which is A LOT).

Settling down?

2004-09-10T15:41:00.000-05:00

I thought the semester might mold into some routine. Not the case. TA'ing keeps me on my toes. Always new challenges. Teaching didn't go that great yesterday. I came out very frustrated. I talked to my roommate Brendan about it. We came up with some very good suggestions for improvement but they all require considerable more time. And I'm already working at least twice as much as I should as a TA. I really do put a lot of emphasis on teaching and I think that should be the case. But I also have to balance everything else and right now I'm maxed out on my TA time. My coursework is starting to become more time intensive and I really want to make some progress on my research. I think things will begin to settle down in the next week or two. It's just amazing how much time and energy it takes to teach. Mom, I completely appreciate what you do day in and day out. I think you're crazy to choose that as a profession. But I can definitely appreciate it.

Cornell, Take 2; Identity Crisis, Take 5247

2004-08-30T21:25:00.000-05:00

I seem to be prefacing most of these posts with, "So, it's been a long time since I've posted anything..." It's definitely true, as some of my more astute readers have pointed out, I've only blogged one other time in the month of August. But I assure you, I have good reasons! I've been busy!

I spent a lot of time in August away from a computer. My parents visited earlier in the month and I stayed away from the office as much as possible. It really meant a lot to have them see where I live and work and meet my friends. When they visited it felt like they brought a big rope with them. Now I feel more connected to my family and my home, and that really helps. I still miss everybody, though.

I spent a large portion of my month preparing a diversity workshop aimed at new engineering teaching assistants. It was, to say the very least, a time intensive activity. I've learned quite a bit about diversity in academics and about my own teaching style but I'm glad to be done with that, at least until next semester.

Now I am fully entrenched in school, yet again. I am TA'ing Fluid Mechanics again this semester, which still consists of 12o students. I'm also taking a course on turbulence and I'll most likely be taking another course on small scale water distribution. It's a similar course load to last fall, except now I have research to add on top. Research that I'm WAY behind on.

This is the first time that I've spent a summer in the same place. It is very strange. In the past two weeks, Ithaca has transitioned from a sleepy, casual, low-motivation-inspiring haven to a bustling, loud, dirty, vibrant community. I was not prepared. The students really do create the atmosphere of this place. It's great to have the students back and even though my workload has increased by orders of magnitude, I am very hopeful that this will translate into productivity.

I need any motivation I can get to work hard here. I didn't accomplish any research last summer and now I feel very behind. I spent most of the last three months unsupervised and directionless. I have done almost anything I can besides work. Now I'm hoping it's the undergraduates that get me back on track. I need some ambition and they seem to have some to spare. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. But dammit, I know how to TA Fluid Mechanics, because I've done that before. I'm going to start there and work my way up.

I have always thought that passion was the greatest personal trait. Passion is a gift. I think I lost mine. I'm really hoping I find it back. I've been looking hard. I'll let you know if I find it.

Diversity

2004-08-04T14:04:00.000-05:00

This summer, in addition to research (and wasting time), I have signed on to train incoming engineering teaching assistants. Having gone through this training last year and having TA'd four classes already (3 at Cornell, 1 at Iowa State), I felt completely capable of being a trainer. Having gone through TA trainer training (yeah, it's a little confusing), my friend Brendan and I were charged with developing and presenting a module on diversity in the classroom. This seems like a fairly straightforward little deal but the more I delve into the intricacies of diversity, the more questions and conflicts I uncover. Diversity can definitely be a hotbutton topic. How do we generate positive, worthwhile discussion without overextending personal comfort levels? In a way, you can't effectively get people thinking about diversity without pushing that emotional envelope at least somewhat. This presentation has been taking up a majority of my brainpower over the last couple of days, meaning I've hardly even been in the lab this week.

Professor leaves, research starts

2004-07-26T19:35:00.000-05:00

To compliment my excellent sense of timing, my flume is finally up and running with all the necessary modifications. It now looks less like a piece of technical research equipment and more like a heavily-funded sixth grade science project gone terribly and inexplicably awry. (Perhaps that's due to a combination of limited supervision and a lifelong desire to become a mad scientist.) You can see a picture of the monstrosity here and here. I will admit that it's a big relief to finally have it up and running again. It seems that the construction phase always takes a long time.

The tank had water in it last Tuesday. This gave me about two days to run some tests on it before my professor, Todd Cowen, left for Spain for an entire year. I ran some initial tests, plotted up the data and had just enough time for Todd to tell me that my plots don't make any sense and that I must be plotting everything wrong (I was). Then he left! So I'm flying solo for the next year with the confidence that comes from screwing up a simple bit of plotting! Actually, that's not entirely true. My other professor, Phil Liu, is completely capable and I'll be meeting with him often and Todd will also be available via e-mail (which was pretty much his M.O. when he was here). Still, it's a little frustrating to realize that as soon as I feel like the ol' research ball gets rolling my professor leaves for the year.

So last week was a busy one in the lab. In fact, I'm in the lab right now running some more tests in the flume. I'm trying to characterize the flow within the flume, so I'm taking velocity measurements at several different depths at different horizontal distances from the flume inlet. The idea is to understand how the flow develops along the channel so that we can quantify an area of uniform flow to take future measurements. It's a lengthy process in which I use an acoustic measurement to get data at a "point" in the flow. (In reality, it samples a small volume of fluid.) I take about 25-30 points for each horizontal location, each taking a few minutes. So I have a little bit of downtime in the lab to update my blog!

Fourth of July

2004-07-05T18:10:00.000-05:00

I spent my fourth of July weekend in Saratoga Springs, New York with my friend Jeremy. I rushed through an experiment on Friday so I could get out of Ithaca by 4 pm. It's about 3.5 hours to drive out there. It doesn't ever seem that bad. It's a gorgeous drive in the summer and I re-route my trip so that I can stick on the smaller highways as much as possible. I got in a little before 8 pm and we got right back in the car and went out to see the weekly pro rodeo that they have in Ballston Spa. Bull riding, team roping, bareback riding and barrel racing. It was great. We got there in time to see a bull rider being attended to by the medics. This took quite a while and we later found out that he shattered his entire left leg. That made me a little nervous but I decided that shouldn't be the reason not to enter MYSELF in the bull riding contest. The actual reason I didn't enter was Genocide (that was the name of one particularly ornery beast). I didn't think I should put myself at the mercy of Genocide, so I kept my seat in the stands.

Saturday we had tickets to see the Dave Matthews Band play an outdoor show right there in Saratoga Springs. I hadn't seen them in several years, so it was great to see them again. They are as crisp as ever and the night was equally clear and warm. We topped off that evening with a little bar crawl of our own in Saratoga Springs.

On the fourth we woke up a little late (much needed) but in time to see Federer beat Roddick in the Wimbledon finals. Then we packed up and headed up north to Lake George, in the Adirondacks, to hang out on the beach. We found a small beach in Bolton Landing and camped out there for a few hours. I waded in the water because, well, I'm a weenie and thought the water was cold. I was a little disappointed with the beach and on the way home we passed the "main" beach on Lake George. Something to keep in mind in the future. Saratoga Springs had fireworks that night so Jeremy and I got cleaned up and headed to a sports club to get supper before the fireworks and to watch the Cubs-White Sox game. The fireworks weren't too bad (I'm very particular about my explosives). We hit a few more establishments after that and then headed home. We were, to say the least, tired from the weekend. I headed back Monday morning (er, afternoon I guess).

The weekend was packed full, anytime we weren't out and about we seemed to be home eating lots of great food. I'm so glad I could spend the weekend with my friend Jeremy but I think we both found ourselves wishing we had all our other friends and family there that weekend, too. We settled for the hope that you all had an equally wonderful holiday weekend as well.

Updativo

2004-06-17T09:09:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I really talked about what I'm doing. I've been busy, definitely. But that's not the only reason I've failed to update recently. I haven't really figured out what I'm doing here this summer. I've been working on several different projects, the least of which seems to be my own. My research involves sediment transport and right now it hasn't involved any sediment at all. It's been stalled out in the construction phase, as our sediment flume has been under repairs. We added a tank to increase the storage capacity of the system. We are having two problems, 1)We have air-entrainment happening at the outlet of the flume, which causes damage to and decreased efficiency of the pump as well as inconsistencies in the flow out the inlet; and 2)We have oscillating flow, since our centrifugal pump is very much dependent upon the amount of water at the outlet and this fluctuates substantially. We are hoping the added reservoir slows the flow down enough to let the air bubbles rise and minimizes fluctuations in the water level. So the tank is nearly installed except for the connection between the outlet and the tank (the tank sits between the outlet and the pump). We ordered two 8-inch, 90 degree PVC elbows from a local company over a week ago and we still haven't received them. How hard can it be to get in two pipe elbows? It must be pretty tough. So this has been our limiting factor.

In the meantime, I have been researching flow metering devices for the flume to get an idea of flowrates in the flume. I've found some really nice flow metering devices for about $8000. Unfortunately, we have no money. So I'm going to try to create a flow metering device for significantly less ($0). It's been a little tricky.

In between all of that, I've been helping out another student on his project in our wave tank. He his looking at beach run-up on solitary waves (think tsunamis). He is trying to predict how far upland water will go based on off-shore wave characteristics. This data will be used to verify a numerical model. I've also been helping Chad collect data for his infrared camera that is used to measure surface velocities in rivers. This pretty much encompasses my work for the past couple of weeks.

It's great experience to help out on other projects but I'd really like to focus on my own work. All of these other projects leave me somewhat directionless. It will help to get the sediment flume back in operation. Then I will have a lot of work to do.

Recreation update: Ithaca in summer is unbelievable. I work everyday until about 5 and then head outside. I'm outside pretty much everyday. I've been playing softball two times a week. I've been fishing quite a bit. I golf every once in a while and even broke 100 on the Cornell course (pretty challenging) the other day. I've been hiking along the waterfalls and running quite a bit. I'm even working out at the gym with Chad. I am hardly ever at my apartment. Last night there was a band outdoors at the commons downtown. There are several outdoor concerts during the summer. I've thought about traveling during the summer but I can hardly bring myself to leave Ithaca. After such a miserable winter, it's nice to finally get great weather.

That should get you up to date.

Drumroll please...

2004-06-16T14:31:00.000-05:00

I'd like to use take this opportunity to welcome Jill Helmle to the world of blogging. Jill is married to Chad, who is also in the fluid mechanics program at Cornell University. Jill and Chad had their first child, Beck, last October. And I can vouch for the cuteness of this kid. Very high on the cute scale, higher than baby seals and yawning kittens. Jill is currently working in Ithaca but will begin work on her PhD in communications at UC-Santa Barbara this fall.

So keep an eye on her blog (link posted on the right). I imagine it will soon be filled with lots of great Beck stories.

Ok, so technically I made it

2004-06-08T20:01:00.000-05:00

So about those grades. Just like a poker player doesn't have to show his hand when everyone folds, I am not sure if I want to tell you exactly how I did this semester. So I'll say this: With the grades from this semester, I have raised my cumulative Cornell GPA by 0.011 points. Meaning my grades were pretty much the same as the Fall semester. Some of you may have known that I wasn't extremely thrilled with my grades from the Fall semester. I chalked it up to my first semester at Cornell. So how do I feel about these grades? Well, I'm still not exactly happy. Although I did take one more class (3 total) and TA one more class (two total) than last semester.

Some of you may think that I'd never be happy with my grades. That's completely not true. I'd be happy if I got straight A's. And I didn't. But I don't think they'll kick me out.

So for all two of you out there interested in how I did, I did good. But I can do better next semester. More importantly, the summer is fully upon us in Ithaca and I am taking full advantage of my flexible hours to get outside as much as possible. I have been fishing quite a bit and yesterday I got my first trout, a 9 inch rainbow. It was an absolutely beautiful fish.

Made the grade?

2004-06-04T09:34:00.000-05:00

Cornell has posted grades for the spring semester. Before I can check them, a certain dread fills my stomach. My mouth becomes dry, it's hard to swallow. It's not that the semester was filled with such doom and gloom. I started the semester determined, charged with a mission to build upon my last semester. "Last semester I was just getting my feet under me, I can do better this semester." For the most part, that started out true. I worked hard all week long. I was in the office every day for at least some amount of time. Out of any given month of the semester, there were maybe two or three days that I didn't do any work. I worked over spring break. I was going to succeed, darn it.

Somewhere, somehow that mentality got left behind. I was a long distance runner and forgot to leave something in reserve for the final kick. Apathy, a student's mighty enemy, was setting in with haste.

This brings me to June. The semester has finished. I am busy doing research. The dust has settled and only the grades remain. The grades. Shudder.

I check them in anticipation but it is more of a mild, blase anticipation. The same anticipation that I get waiting for ESPN.com to load, for example. I briefly entertain the thought that grades don't matter and that I don't even need to check them. I am not an academic masochist. I don't need to be perfect.

The page loads fast, too fast. I am expecting more traffic and a slower server. I look quickly but don't accidentally read the fall semester. I am forced to look closer. I lean in. I focus, accepting my fate and slowly, deliberately read through my grades...

President Clinton in Ithaca

2004-05-31T12:52:00.000-05:00

Cornell held their graduation this past weekend. Commencement was held on Sunday but Cornell also holds a convocation, where they invite a guest speaker from outside the university to speak to the graduates. This year, Cornell managed to secure Pres. Clinton. The event was held at the football stadium (it's Ivy League, so the stadium really isn't that big) and pretty much filled the house. I was in attendance to hear what Clinton had to say, almost a full term after his tenure in the White House.

Clinton mentioned the number of Cornellians he had worked with and other Cornellians who made great contributions to society. He then addressed the state of the world, at least from his viewpoint. He stressed the importance of reaching out to all people in the world. He insisted that if we cannot "kill, occupy, or control terrorists" we must make as many friends as possible, so as to not give them a reason to hate us. It was a very interesting speech, one that displayed the worldly knowledge Clinton possessed as well as the great amount of passion he has for the global community.

It was interesting because my friend Chad and I were discussing, just the other day, a lot of the points Clinton brought up in his speech. September 11th was definitely a turning point for our country. We, as a people, could have gone a number of directions from that point. The direction we took led us to a war with Iraq, which is still taking lives and is far from being resolved. President Clinton suggested that we should look to work together whenever possible and work alone when it is the only option. He said this was contrary to the current administration, which immediately looks to act alone and only works together when that is the only way to get our goals accomplished.

For me, his speech reinforced the thought that we did not take the right direction after September 11. It also stirred questions on how to get back in the right direction. Overall, it was a great experience to hear Clinton. If you have a half an hour or so free and feel like checking out his speech, you can access it here. Clinton starts around the 52 minute mark.

Maine recap

2004-05-29T17:11:00.000-05:00

As promised, here is my trip to Maine:

Thursday: Frantically finished up my semester work (to see how it went, see previous post). My friend P.J. doing the same. We were locked and loaded a little before 9 pm and headed on the road to Saratoga Springs to meet up with my friend Jeremy, his current roommates Kevin and Jim and his Memphis roommate Kray. It's a solid 3.5 hours to Saratoga Springs from Ithaca and halfway through the trip we happened upon a torrential downpour. (Foreshadowing? Keep reading!) I told P.J., "Don't be alarmed but my windshield wipers are finicky. Sometimes they work and sometimes, well..." Needless to say, he was alarmed. Countless near ditch experiences later, we arrived at Jeremy's apartment and crashed (to sleep, not while driving).

We awoke bright and early to a glorious Friday morning. (Foreshadowing? Keep reading!) P.J. and I went to pick up supplies, which included such camping staples as tuna, PB&J and Twinkies (or more commonly referred to as "breakfast"). Since we had 6 people and an incredible amount of equipment, we needed to take two vehicles. So we took Jeremy's Monte Carlo and Kevin's monster truck. Seriously, this thing was scary. A Cummins diesel Dodge pick-up that was lifted to accomodate the enormous tires. I was riding in it for a bit and when we stopped I opened the passenger door and stepped on the roof of a Volkswagon. I didn't even know it was there. No, I'm kidding. There was no VW. But if there was, I might not have fallen the story-and-a-half.

Whoever says that one of the benefits of being on the East Coast is being so close to everything, was not referring to Maine. Getting to Maine is a helluva long drive (8+ hours from Saratoga Springs) encompassing four states (NY, Mass, NH and Maine). But the weather was nice and we were starting a nice long weekend, so we didn't mind. Our destination: Acadia National Park, the first National Park east of the mighty Mississippi. Our goal: absolutely nothing for an entire weekend. It was just glorious to be on the road.

We arrived at the campground around 6 pm. Due to Victoria Day in Canada, the place was filling up. We got two campsites at the far end of the campground, set up tents (and a hammock for P.J.) and got to cooking. Which, for P.J and I, meant boiling water and adding it to a bag of freeze-dried fettucini alfredo (which we added tuna). Scrumptious. And the best part, we were done in about ten minutes. So P.J. and I headed to the coast to climb around the rocks. The night ended pretty early, since we had big plans the next morning.

Which apparently started at 3:45 am. Cadillac Mountain, the highest point in the park, is billed as the first place in America to see the sunrise. What they fail to bill it as is the coldest and windiest place to be at 4 am in the entire country. But we managed (except Kevin, who ran back to the truck at the first sign of daylight). The clouds rolled in overnight, making the dawn somewhat of a bust. We headed back to camp, where we re-built the fire (a common theme) and most went back to sleep. At about 10 am, P.J. and I filled up our daypacks with enough provisions to last the day and headed out for a hike.

Hiking is one of my favorite things to do. And Acadia, with it's multitude of trails and environments, is ideal. We hiked the four miles back up Cadillac Mountain and for our troubles we received sideways rain on an exposed mountainside. It was...chilly. Let me clarify, quickly, that Cadillac Mountain hardly qualifies as a mountain. With only 1500 ft of elevation change, P.J. and I were left questioning the requirements of mountain classification. We determined that it was more of a nomenclature than anything. We reached the top and defrosted in the ranger station, where we received some good information on lobster restaurants as well as a suggestion to hike to the Jordan Pondhouse. So we did.

Jordan Pondhouse has been around since the park started and is famous for it's tea and popovers, which are like big warm hollow doughballs that are baked to the consistency of croissants. Add to the warm goodness a healthy dollup of homemade strawberry preserves and you are about as close to heaven as two tired, cold, wet hikers can be. It used to be common (read the only way) for people to hike to the Jordan Pondhouse for tea and popovers. Looking around at all of the people there, with bouncy hair and dress slacks, I'm doubting many hiked in that day. I couldn't help but break a gritty smile on my freshly stubled face - the popovers DEFINITELY tasted better after 8 miles of hiking.

P.J. and I stared out at the pond and the rain. We had started to dry out, a weird feeling, so we picked up our packs and headed back out on the trail. It was early afternoon by this point and we had abandoned our campmates to go hiking all day. Guilt was setting in (and the hunger satiated by the popovers would return soon enough) so the last four miles we zoomed back to the campsite. P.J. enjoys hiking for the fact that he can push himself hard. It turned out to be infectious, as we were both running over crags and past cairns by the end of the trip. In total, 12 miles of hiking.

We actually beat the rest of the group back to the site. P.J. and I were thinking lobster, the rest of the group brought chili. So we left them once more and headed into Bar Harbor to one of the recommended restaurants.

Bar Harbor is the Breckenridge of the east coast. The town seemed built around tourism, meaning that it better make most of it's money in about 5 months every year. We walked around a bit before ending up at the Fish House. I couldn't resist, I ordered a blueberry ale from the Bar Harbor Brewery and an entire lobster bake, including a full lobster, steamed clams and mussels, and all the fixin's. Here I am demolishing it. It was tasty. After dinner we walked around town, checking out the shops. Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the lobster, maybe it was the fact that it rained all day and tomorrow didn't look much better, but I ended up buying this hat. That's my best haggled sea captain impression. I convinced P.J. to buy one, too. Now he won't let me back on the research boat unless I wear it.

We made it back that night and stayed up late with the boys, laughing, telling stories and watching this into the wee hours of the morning. It was great.

Sunday we woke to more rain. Actually, I was woken by Jeremy and Kray cursing the river of water coming into their tent. It was time to get up, anyway. We dinked around that morning. We ate breakfast, I did some "reading". Ok, I was sleeping, I admit it. I was tired. I feel asleep several times that day. That afternoon we were driving and I had the map. I woke up in time to hear, "He's sleeping again, just take the map so we can figure out where we're going." But I digress.

Since it was wet anyway, we headed to Otter Cliffs to climb over rocks on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean. It was some great fun. P.J., Jeremy, Kray and I crawled, shimmied and slid over seaweed covered granite to the tune of the crashing surf. Kray, Jeremy and I even did a little climbing on Otter Cliff itself. P.J., a real climber, took the high road searching for real climbing. Luckily, it produced one of my favorite pics of the trip.

That night was lobster night. We traveled far and wide to find fresh lobsters. We ended up with ginormous beasts, still alive and kicking. We brought them back and Kevin immediately took charge. They were sliced in half and grilled to absolute perfection. Let me tell you, gorging on fresh lobster is an experience every non-PETA person should have. It turns out that lobster goes really well with single malt scotch. Who knew?

The sky broke that night and we were determined to see the stars over the ocean. We walked the 15 minute jaunt to the coast and by the time we got there the clouds had rolled back in. No bother, we pulled up a chunk of granite anyway. It didn't take long for Jeremy and I to fall asleep. I think we would've slept there all night if Kray didn't wake us up.

It rained that night and the next morning we packed up and loaded our wet equipment. Back on the road. By the time we reached NY it was sunny again. Oh, it wouldn't last. We rolled into Saratoga Springs and it started to pour. I mean, really pour. Jeremy's backyard filled with 6 inches of water, which in turn filled their basement. We left his apartment while Jeremy, Kevin and Jim pulled waterlogged boxes to drier land.

We were only one stop in Albany away from Ithaca and arrived back in town around 1 am on Tuesday morning. Perfectly content.

Back from Maine

2004-05-26T19:50:00.000-05:00

For those of you curious, I'm back from Maine. Great trip, and I'm going to write a little report about it (but probably not until the weekend). I got back in town really late Monday night and was back in work yesterday and today. I don't think this summer is going to be as different from the semester as I originally thought. For one reason, my advisor is not an experimentalist and this summer is pretty much all lab work. So time frames are going to be a little unrealistic (Him- "Will we be able to take measurements in the flume by friday?" Me- "Umm, no, the pump isn't hooked up yet, we need to add a larger reservoir and reseal the entire length." Him-"You can't do that tomorrow?"). So I'm going to be busting my butt to keep things moving. I need to impress him because I guess I really bombed the final in his class. I think I got one of the lowest scores. I was REALLY not happy about that. REALLY not happy. REALLY REALLY (still) not happy. So I need to gain back some confidence from my advisor.

I'm not sure exactly what happened at the end of the semester but it sure seemed to end poorly. I probably should've stayed in Ithaca until the semester was over and I would have done better. But going home to see my sister graduate was worth the sacrifice in grades. I think maybe I got a little burned out, it's just a shame that the majority of the points in my classes were pushed into a three week window. Not much I can do, except work hard to get things running so that hopefully my advisor forgets how dumb I was in his course.

It's times like these when I really wonder what I'm doing here. Thankfully, times like these always help me re-focus as well. One way or the other, that bombed final was a kick in the ass. I just hope it's in the right direction.

That's enough boo-hooing from my end. This log isn't designed to gripe and complain about school but instead designed to accurately show what I'm going through here at Cornell.

Thankfully my hobbies haven't suffered. Fishing yesterday (finally caught my first New York fish - a big minnow), had softball practice today and tomorrow I'm going golfing. For as terrible as the winters are in Ithaca, the summers are equally wonderful. I'm maximizing the good weather.

Oh, I heard Manchester floated away the other day. For those back home, try to stay dry.

Byrne, One Down

2004-05-19T20:06:00.000-05:00

Ok, ok. I know I haven't updated this recently. The end of the semester has started to really zoom. Semesters feel like a roller coaster ride. You start off at the bottom. You go through maybe one little turn, just to get a little taste. Then you start up the big hill. Click click click, you sloooowwwwllllly make your way up. You can see people on the ground but they are getting smaller. At first it's scary because you know whatever goes up BETTER come down. But click click click, you just keep climbing. Eventually you start thinking, "Man, this rollercoaster is pretty boring. And way too slow. I wish I would've gotten cotton candy instead." And then BAM you reach the top and immediately begin roaring down the track at 150 mph. You lose your retainer around a particularly wicked turn but it's no big deal, you'll get another, besides you don't have time to worry because there's another turn and whee this is fun and what's that another turn and oh my that drops fast and if there is another turn I swear I'm going to lose it and man do I hate rollercoasters. And then it's over and you think, "Boy, I'd like to do that over if I could." But then you see how long you'd have to wait to get that chance again and you decide it's just not worth it.

So that's how the end of the semester feels to me.

David Byrne was excellent. He had the Tosca strings with him and amazing percussion work. I thought the band was really tight. They played quite a bit Talking Heads stuff but also a lot of different things. Some interesting covers of songs I'd never heard of, a piece in spanish and a piece in italian. I thought it might be over the top a bit and too outlandish since I had this impression of David Byrne being very egotistical and attention starved. But in fact it was quite the opposite. He is a very mild-mannered, unassuming type of person. And he has an amazing voice. I think no matter who you are you would've enjoyed the performance (unless you hate any type of percussion). Joe, you especially should go see him if he hits the west coast and you win free tickets from a radio station.

Otherwise, I've been busy finishing up a project and an exam and then I will mostly be finished. I do have one more homework hanging over me but I have another two weeks to finish it, so no big rush. I've been playing softball, too. I had my first game last Sunday. It was pretty close until I came in to pitch. Then they creamed us. Gotta work on that for next time. But I'm 2 for 2 at the plate with one run scored, so that's pretty cool. I'm going to miss this weekend's game because I'll be in Maine. I'm heading up to Acadia National Park with some friends. I'm really excited because I've wanted to visit Acadia for the longest time.

So if it sounds like this posting is rushed, it is. If it sounds like I've got too much going on, I do. If it sounds like I should be working hard to finish my semester instead of blogging, you're right. I was just about to do that. I promise I'll update you on Acadia when I get back.

Go ahead, be jealous

2004-05-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

David Byrne, former frontman for the Talking Heads, is playing Ithaca's State Theater tomorrow night. And as if my radio was trying to tell me something, I awoke this morning to the words: "The third caller wins two tickets to tomorrow's David Byrne show." I called, they answered. I asked if I was the third caller, they confirmed. I'm pretty excited. He's touring with a string section and his new album includes opera pieces. I can see no better way to spend the evening.

Philadelphooey

2004-05-12T12:12:00.000-05:00

Well, I’m on my way back to Ithaca. It’s 9:30 pm and I have one more layover in Philadelphia before I make it back to Ithaca. Unfortunately this won’t get posted until I get internet access but at least I have a little time to write now.

My week in Iowa was great. My sister graduated from college (way to go Tara!) and is already working full time (way to be an over-achiever Tara!). I got to go to her graduation ceremony and then go out for a bit afterward with Tara, Clint and Mindy. Friday was spent driving around Ames visiting with some people that I haven’t seen in a year. It was great to check out Iowa State again. I was really impressed by how well the ASCE chapter seemed to be doing. It really is a testament to all of the talented people in the group. I really wish I could have spent another year with that group.

I did get my fill of mushrooms over the weekend. I made it out to the Colesburg farm on Saturday. I caught a bunch of mushrooms, a few little fish and almost one huge snapping turtle. Sunday was spent at the home farm, where I caught plenty more mushrooms and a whole bunch of extended family. The weather was great and I really did love every minute of being out in the woods. I tried the best I could to lock those images down. I might not get to return to either place for quite a while.

And of course no trip home is complete without visiting my “professional mom” at my former place of employment. (Note to Donna – Beware the Tootsie!) And then my trip was pretty much ending. And it was time to come back. And go back to work.

And it’s always strange to return to Ithaca from Iowa. It seems like one big metamorphosis, compounded by the fact that I stop in two cities before I reach my final destination. I go from a place where I know everyone. A place where the land is familiar, the food is always good and there are people I get to hug. Iowa is the ultimate in comfort zone. Sitting in the Cedar Rapids Airport, I already began to miss Iowa.

Compared to Iowa, Ithaca feels like a con artist. Oh, it wants to be comfortable. But there is just something about it that makes you keep your distance. Is it the weather, how it might seem nice one minute and then BAM it’s snowing? Or maybe it’s the school, where you might seem in control of your classes and the BAM you get three assignments, one test and a project. Or is it just that it’s not Manchester. Because it is not Manchester. Ithaca is worlds apart from Manchester. And really, that’s why I came here. So I guess I should stop holding things against Ithaca and just get back to work.

Homeward Bound

2004-05-04T21:14:00.000-05:00

Man, this has been quite a week. Most of you are probably thinking, "What do you mean, the week just started?" Not mine. Mine never ended. Mine has just carried over from last week. I just hit friday and kept right on trucking, through friday night, saturday, saturday night, sunday, sunday night, monday, monday night (into tuesday morning), tuesday, tuesday night. I've been working straight up to ... this point. Today was the cumulation of my recent work. Our group presented our final project for our case studies class this afternoon and tonight was the final exam in my environmental fluid mechanics class. And those can pretty much be swept off my mind, although I know my mind will want to re-hash them for a couple of days.

I'm not done with my semester but that was definitely a significant chunk. It's enough to feel ok about going home tomorrow. What's that? Russ is going to be back in Iowa? That's right, for 6 nights and 6 days I'll be somewhere in the Midwest. My sister is graduating Thursday night in Ankeny, so I'll even be in the central part of the state for a bit. I think the plans involve Blues on Grand in Des Moines on Thursday night after graduation and then staying in Ames with my sister that night. So if you are in Des Moines or Ames this weekend, get in touch with me (rdd9@cornell.edu or 607-351-2410). That weekend I'll be heading back to Manchester.

I'm excited to go home. It will be nice to eat something that isn't microwaved and actually be able to stand up straight in a bedroom. More than that, I'm just so excited to see so many people that I haven't seen in a long time. My schedule is pretty self-focused at Cornell and it's hard to keep connections with people. That's the hardest part of being in Ithaca, not the classes or the exams or the research. So my goal is to get a great big dose of friends and family this weekend. Oh, and mushrooms. And homemade ice cream, is that possible Mom? And grilled steaks.

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

2004-04-30T09:30:00.000-05:00

It's Friday afternoon, the weather is finally warm and sunny in Ithaca (well, warm at least), and I've been incapacitated most of the week. Sick. I don't know why but apparently the move to Ithaca has made me oh so much more susceptible to illness. Normally a pretty healthy guy, I have gone through more colds, congestion, sore throats and general aches and pains this year than the past five years combined it seems. It's miserable, absolutely miserable. I think it's the move to a completely different locale with the new strains of pure-evil-illness just waiting for fresh meat. I have definitely provided the fresh meat this year. I have attempted to fight back. I received a flu shot last semester and even (gasp!) entered student health services this past week to get checked out. To no avail.

And the weather has been so nice! And I'm in the last week of classes! And I have projects to complete and tests to study for and homework to work on! The last thing I want to do is spend my time in my hole-in-the-attic apartment, lie on my $30 excuse for a mattress, stare up at the 45 degree roofline that is just inches from my nose and try to forget about all of the things I would rather be doing so that I can sleep.

What an end to the semester! Arrgh! Woe, woe, I say! You are never so self-centered as when you are sick. I hold firm that there is no way to feel pity for anyone else when you have a sore throat. It is encompassing. A person next to you could be mauled by a Bengal tiger and you would still think, "So what if you lost half of your leg. It's nothing compared to three days of not being able to swallow your own spittle without wincing."

Labwork

2004-04-23T14:59:00.000-05:00

I talked about fieldwork, so I would be remiss to leave out labwork. Cornell's fluids lab is sweet. We have two wave tanks, a wind tunnel, three recirculating flumes and one recirculating sediment flume (my big yellow baby). Right now we also have a 3 meter by 3 meter harbor model set up in the structural lab next door. In fact, that's where I am right now. I'm supervising a group project that's examing resonance within Long Beach harbor. They are modeling a specific harbor both physical and numerically.

I spend much of my week in the lab. Most of this is TA-related, either setting up experiments, testing experiments, supervising experiments or cleaning up after experiments. But some of this is research-related. The research component should increase significantly this summer, when I can play in the lab to my heart's content.

Our group does a lot of work with particle image velocimetry (PIV). PIV is a means of capturing a velocity field by examining particles within the fluid. We have cameras that can record 60 images every second. We can set up high powered lasers to create a light sheet, illuminating actual particles within the water, then expose our camera for a fraction of a second. This gives us an instantaneous image of our field. To get an idea of the velocity field, we take two pictures that are taken nearly simultaneously. This way we can track individual particles as they move past the camera. It's kind of like if you take a picture of someone walking and then one minute later, take a picture of the exact same location. If you can see the person in both pictures and you know the length that person walked and the time between your pictures, you know how fast that person walked and in what direction. It's the same idea here, except the "person" is really tiny.

Cornell considers itself one of the best academic institutions in the country in regard to this type of imaging. We use it in a variety of applications, including evaluating hydraulic structures and investigating tsunamis. This summer I'm going to start applying it to sediment movement and see where that takes me.

If you want to see what I'm talking about, check out this link to a project on swash zone hydrodynamics that my professor worked on.

Fieldwork

2004-04-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

When looking at graduate programs a big selling point was a great field component. Initially I wanted to do research in the field (now I am focusing on lab work, which is another entry all to itself) so it was key to find programs that had similar interests. Our group's field work, especially under Professor Cowen, is pretty extensive. And I think this should be the case. Many schools who claim to do environmental fluid mechanics are really only doing fluid mechanics. The "environmental" really changes things, even if all the physics is the same. As precise as you can get to model conditions in the lab, there is no way you can simulate all the variables found in nature. And ultimately, it's the natural environment to which our research is being applied.

So experience in the field is key. So whenever I can, I volunteer to go out in the field with fellow graduate student/drinking buddy P.J. who also happens to be our full time field technician. See him here with me after a long day in the field. This picture is from last Friday. It was the first nice day in Ithaca in the past 10 years (it's what it felt like) so we went out on Cayuga Lake. We had to get the boat out and running for the upcoming field season, we had to get some vertical temperature measurements for our Case Studies class and we had to pull some buoys to get the RUSS ready for the summer. So naturally after all of this we felt pretty tough. Plus, check out those outfits! P.J. was wearing his neoprene wetsuit, while I was sporting a full drysuit. It wasn't just a fashion statement, it was a safety issue. Although we weren't in the water, the water temperature was only 3 degrees C, so if we went in the water it could be disastrous.

So if you are jealous about my job then you should be. It was a gorgeous day and I was out on the water for most of it. But since the environment changes, we try to collect data during every different condition. So that meant a full day on the lake last December, when the air temperatures never got above freezing. It was so cold that day that we had to stick equipment in the water to UNFREEZE it.

Although working in the field doesn't apply to my research, I find it crucial. First, I feel it's important to have a broad base of knowledge about this field. And every time I help with field work, I learn about new equipment, new methods and new challenges. I also don't view academics as an individual endeavor. We all have the same goals here, I'll help out anyone in our group whenever I can.

Most importantly, though, it reminds me why I'm here. I came here with visions of making a difference in the world. It really helps to see that world once in a while. So I guess it takes a day out in the middle of a big lake to keep me grounded here at Cornell.

Dumb days

2004-04-14T22:17:00.000-05:00

There are two things in graduate school that I fear: one is getting sick, the other is having a "dumb day." They are basically the same, because they mean a loss of time. I don't work constantly, like some people I know. I put in a lot of time at work but not at the expense of sleeping. But usually this means that I am either working or sleeping. So losing a day means a little less sleep and a little more work that gets missed. This is usually how I justify other activities: "Will this cause me to get less sleep?" or "Could I be doing more work right now?" I never get enough sleep and there are always concepts I need a better understanding of, so these questions are constantly around.

So taking time off to do non-school work (a.k.a. recreational activities) is always a big internal debate. And when you get sick, you don't have that choice. You HAVE to take time off work and it usually isn't very recreational. Same thing applies for a dumb day.

Well, today I had a dumb day. I woke up and I worked all day, yet I don't have anything to show for it. My brain was not functioning and there wasn't much I could do about it. I tried to work through it but I kept banging my head against the wall. Which means that I took my free time and did something that I hated with it. It's kind of like buying a really nice painting, and then someone tears it up into a million pieces before you get it. So you still have the picture, it's just in this absolutely worthless form. And what's worse is that you know how nice that picture was before, and that you'll never be able to see it that way again.

I don't know, maybe it's not like that. Let me know if you come up with a better analogy. Regardless, today was definitely a dumb day. But the fog will clear, my brain will function, and Russ will become productive once again! And it better be tomorrow, or else someone's going to be really cranky!

Divorce

2004-04-11T21:11:00.000-05:00

I broke up my coastal engineering group tonight. I kicked out the two undergraduate students. I couldn't handle it anymore. Let's just say that they weren't pulling their own weight and with a final project coming up, I wasn't about to pull it any longer. All of this left me with a couple of thoughts:

I think I can distinguish between leaders who have internal motivation, hard workers who are looking for a leader to provide that motivation, and others who are perfectly content to just sit back and let the other two types do their thing. And although I don't consider myself an effective manager, I have picked up a few things about managing the first two types of people. But I just can't seem to figure out how to handle the last type.

I didn't expect this to be a problem at Cornell. I didn't expect to meet any "third type" people here. And although I have met many, many, many type one and two, I have also met plenty of type three personalities. Ultimately I determined my two group members were type three people. They had plenty of willingness to complain about the work but no desire to really delve into the subject. They showed no initiative, waited to be assigned tasks, then never completed their tasks.

I dropped these guys because I don't have the time or desire to do their work. This is Cornell. My expectations of students are higher and, based on many undergrads that I've worked with, I feel this is justified. My goal is that this will force them to put more effort into the final project and be able to take something from this course. I did struggle with this decision. As a graduate student, and especially as the TA, I think a little more teaching is expected of me. I want to help students understand this material and succeed but I have no desire to give anyone a free ride toward an engineering degree. I think about this everytime I take a drink from a water fountain or drive over a bridge.

Was this a good decision?

As for the weekend, Ithaca was gorgeous. Which allowed us to get out to Six Mile Creek on Saturday and collect temperature and velocity data for a different class. Which I'll have to fill you in on another night. Oh, and after a heartbreaking meltdown by the Cubs bullpen it's nice to see Kerry Wood walloped Atlanta tonight.

Big 2-7

2004-04-09T12:19:00.000-05:00

Proving that I'm only 95% self-centered, I'd like to send a big shout out to my big brother. If you don't know my brother, he is the coolest person on the planet. If you know my brother, you know this is true. If it wasn't for my brother, I'd never be at Cornell, literally. He was the one who fixed my Blazer right before I left! He deserves a ton of credit for more than just his mechanic skills. His support has helped me make the Cornell decision and the transition. He inspires me to work harder, pursue more interests, and aspire for a higher level of integrity and character. Probably more than he even realizes. So happy birthday big bro'! If I got one birthday wish today, it would be to spend the day with you!

Teaching

2004-04-08T19:56:00.000-05:00

Ever since I became a teaching assistant, I have had the greatest respect for teachers. Last semester, having to teach only twice a week, made me realize how frustrating teaching can be when you don't know what you're talking about. At least last semester I was teaching a subject that I had taken before. This semester I am TA'ing two classes that I am taking at the same time. My professors don't expect me to teach, but the students have definitely identified me as the TA and will ask me questions from time to time. Sometimes I can field these questions but most of the time I am in exactly the same position as they are. A student asked for help the other day on the light attenuation problem and I had to tell him that I don't know how to solve it, but if he finds out to let me know. How comfortable would you be in a class where the TA asks the students questions?

Homework

2004-04-06T19:55:00.000-05:00

I figured that when I decided to go to graduate school, thus furthering my formal education voluntarily, I was no longer allowed to complain about homework. I'm shattering that myth this week. I can, and will, complain about homework in graduate school. Especially this week because I have 1) a lot of homework and 2) a lot of hard homework. And I'm stuck. We're working on a light attenuation problem right now. Earlier we had set up a column of dyed water with a light attached to the top. We had temperature sensors located at various depths throughout the column and the outside of the column was completely blacked out. We placed a light bulb over the top of the column and turned it on, allowing the conduction from the bulb to heat the water. We are trying to determine how the energy decreases (attenuates) with the distance from the bulb. The same process happens in the environment. Light attenuation (energy from the sun) is much greater in the Mississippi River than say, for example, the crystal clear waters by Happy Landing Lodge. This is due to the stuff in the water (sediment or microorganisms) that deflects or absorbs the light energy. If there is nothing in the water, attenuation is minimized, and you can see to deep depths.

That's what I'm working on right now.

Snow in Ithaca

2004-04-04T20:55:00.000-05:00

Ok, so here's the deal. It would've been great to start this last August when I started the program so that you could have more complete impressions of my new surroundings and people. But I think now is an excellent time to start this log. I'm on my own, comfortable with my surroundings and feel like I have a good handle on my program. I'm sure I'll come back to some of my earlier experiences later but for now let me get you up to speed.

I started a Masters of Science program at Cornell University in the Fall of 2003. I am specializing in Environmental Fluid Mechanics within the Civil and Environmental Engineering department. I am funded under a teaching assistantship through three semesters and funded through a research assistantship for the rest of my time here. Last semester I took two classes (Graduate Fluid Mechanics and Transport and Mixing in the Environment) as well as taught Introduction to Fluid Mechanics. I thought that was a heavy workload but I'm envious of those days now. This semester I am taking three classes: Case Studies in Environmental Fluid Mechanics, Coastal Engineering, and Graduate Environmental Fluid Mechanics. I am the TA for the first two. These two are heavily laboratory based, so my main responsibility is to set up these labs. On top of this, I'm trying to start work on my research, which I will continue exclusively this summer.

This week I have homework due in all three of my classes, I have to troubleshoot, set up and supervise labs in both of my TA classes, and I have to prepare final projects in both of these classes. This is not far off of a typical week. Generally, if a week is lighter on classwork, I try to be down in the lab helping out on other projects. The more experience I can get the better. The learning curve is immense and sometimes I don't think the brute force method is the ideal. My thinking is that I only retain a small percentage of material, so the more material I'm exposed to, the more I'll retain (I hope my math skills aren't this fuzzy).

It all comes down to the Gallagher paradox: Am I the one running around smashing watermelons...or am I the watermelon?

That is the nickel update of my time here at Cornell. And when you read this, look out your window and appreciate a countryside free of snow because it is not the case in wintery Ithaca!

2004-04-02T11:28:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my World

I have the good fortune of never thinking, "Hmm, I wonder what Russ has been up to lately?" This blog has been created for those who have thought this from time to time. It's an attempt to bring along friends and family as I go through the Environmental Fluid Mechanics graduate program at Cornell University. What's it like getting an Ivy League education? It's different everyday...I'll keep you posted.